I'm Willing To Forgive My Financial Past

Jan 04, 2024

Embrace Financial Freedom with Forgiveness, Love, and a Fresh Start!

It's the time of year when we get the breathing space for reflection - and sometimes, sometimes, if we are very brave a dose of honesty as well!

Fresh Start

I've realised this holiday time that it is well beyond time for me to move into a different season of my life - that a fresh start in my finances is needed.

It's been a challenge being a single mum all through lockdown - leaving a business that owed me over six figures that if I am completely honest was never going to make that right as the integrity of the owners was such that they didn't give a flying f**k about not paying for my skills if they could reap the benefits.

This meant stepping into lockdown on my savings (thankfully I had some) bringing both my children under my roof again and supporting them in so many ways through the last three years.

But hey - that meant that my bigger one who was at Uni was able to graduate with less than £5000 of debt - cos we got SMART! We worked every penny of those savings into living frugally, being intentional, and getting a Masters (Him) and an amazing education in online Challenges from the King of Challenges himself, Pedro Adao. A mid-life digital pivot from a lady who has been resolutely pen-and-paper for decades.

2023 was a monster of a year for so many - I am so ready to put it behind me! I could have played it all out in my business last year, but instead (I admit it) I kind of half-assed it! I did the minimum I needed to move through the year and focus on my boys (one graduating into a screwed up Post Brexit economy and the other learning how to live with some life-restricting health issues).

Honestly - what I did last year is going to sink my family not save it - so it's time for change for sure!

Did I get it Right?

Are there financial mistakes I have made in the past? - For sure!! Decisions that have cost me dear, cost me security for my family, cost me freedom in living, cost me restrictions on how my children can experience life.

And those decisions weigh heavy on me in the early hours of the morning - when I lie in the dark and ponder all the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" of my life.

I feel so much guilt.

I do - for things that in hindsight I should never have let continue.

But if I am honest - most of the financial shitstorms in my life have been created because I didn't trust myself, because I let someone else steer my course. Because I trusted well beyond the point where it was reasonable or logical to remain in that situation.

So job number one in choosing a different outcome - is to forgive myself for the past and move forward into financial well-being with a different playbook.

And that is going to mean a whole heap of self-reflection - and a whole heap of forgiveness for the past so that I may move forward into a better future.

.... and yes! Now I think about it that is going to mean pulling up my "big girl knickers and having some tough conversations for sure. (NOT looking forward to that for sure!)

Am I Brave Enough?

But here is the thing ...

In all the self-reflection of the season, I uncovered a secret about myself.

I don't love me - and lots of the time I act as if I don't even like me!

I don't prioritise the plan for my financial security ( I am uncovering the reasons why I do this and it's a doozy ... ladies with Boomer Mums you may relate!!!)

I don't prioritise my physical health - I don't make time to walk the walks eat the good foods and find a balance in my stress levels.

I hold on to relationships for far too long that need to be set aside because they don't serve me. I expect so little in return that I am returned even less!

So although 2024 needs to see a better financial plan put in place - it also needs to have a healthy chunk of self-reflection - and yes, even self-love to create a new set of life and money rules in my heart that can work so much better.

And TBH - this feels so much harder than just coming up with the Financial Spreadsheet or the Q1 plan for the business! This is going to be uncovering some shit about myself that I don't want to be looking at for sure! I am sure you understand. I bet you often feel the same.

Time For Love!

So it is the beginning of a brand new year - time to forgive myself (strike that, time to LOVE myself) enough to create something better this season. Time to build the financial security that is my right as someone who brings massive value to the world and to the people she works with .. and move on a few who do not see and do not value that worth!

Find it in my heart to love myself, forgive myself, and trust myself to make the right decisions, the right choices rolling forward!

So start inside to change the programming of a lifetime to something ... more! better! more braver! more affluent! more loving ..... more, more more!

I have a 100% track record of surviving shitty situations. I have never let a crappy day beat me down for long.

  • This season I choose - Love and forgiveness for me .. and you too!

  • If you are ready to run with me into this new year - I love you for your bravery!

  • If you're ready to read and think and be on the sidelines a little - I love you for your wisdom!

If you are not ready to do the work - in and out - I love you for your resilience in sitting in a situation that is not perfect but not bad enough that you need to make a change yet.

I need to be brave, I need to be wise, I need to change!

I need to forgive myself for what is past and love myself for what is to be in this new season.

I love you lots
Elaine XX